You Need To Move On Because They Already Did

Letting go is just about as hard as life can get. What are you supposed to do when someone who has given you all these memories, all of this happiness and love in your life just walks away? You’re left with all the love in the world to give, and no one to give it to. You’re forced to sit there with memories that you have no clue what to do with, so you just lay in bed with tear-stained eyes and remember. And these memories, while they play, force you to think that maybe, just maybe, there’s still hope and they’re laying in bed too, thinking of you.

And suddenly you’re angry. Pissed off. Infuriated, even. Why did they come into your life, flip it up and make you care, make you love them, and give you so much happiness only to leave you? Why? Why would they put you through that? Obviously, they don’t care as much as you thought they did. They lied. They hurt you and they deserve pain.

But then, you realize. You’re just hurt. Hurt at them leaving you, hurt at the pain you have, hurt that it seems like the absolute end of the world. You still would wish them the best and miss them, but that doesn’t stop it from feeling like your heart is torn into pieces.

I know you can sit here and think of a thousand reasons why you two should be together again, and that’s exactly the reason you need to go ahead and forget about them.

How much damage have they caused in your life? How much pain, and suffering? How much of your life have you given up since meeting them? If the answer to any of these questions is a lot, it’s time to let them go.

Here’s where the truth hits you: they aren’t laying in their bed, thinking of you too. They are out there, moving on and finding someone else and picking up their own lives. Now, that might be the most bitter pill to swallow. But it’s the truth, and you out of anyone deserves to be told the truth. You owe that to yourself to hear it and listen, even if you don’t believe it.

But while the truth will hurt, the truth will also set you free. And the truth is, every person in your life is either a blessing or a lesson. They are not meant to be in our lives forever, but more to teach us a certain thing about this chapter in our lives. We love and we lose, and we learn from the experience, and close that part of our story. And most of the time, these lessons are not what we carry onto the next page.

You deserve better. You deserve better than being sick to your stomach overseeing them with someone else. You deserve better than sitting awake at night, playing through thoughts in your head and wondering where things went wrong for the fifty-third time. Your heart may be broken and bruised now, but it is still beautiful.

You owe it to yourself to pick yourself off of the ground. Go out with your friends, make a new hobby, spend some time with your family, get a new hairstyle. Change some things up. Make yourself a better you, a better life for yourself. Make yourself learn from this lesson, and move forward with your life.

Don’t sit there and obsess over what they’re doing, check their social media or anything, because it will make it that much harder. Delete them out of your life. Unfollow, unfriend. Do whatever it is you need to do to move on, and don’t apologize to anyone for trying to repair what is broken. It is your life.

You will move on and you will fall in love again. And you will probably be hurt again. But that is the beauty of life. We fall and we get hurt sometimes, but it is these moments that make us appreciate our happiest times and our great moments. And when you look back on this chapter of your life, you will no longer be sad, empty, angry or hurt. You will simply realize that it made you who you are today and that all roads, no matter how broken, will still lead to where you are supposed to go.

I’m Single And Looking, But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Going To Settle For Being Half Loved

Yes, I am single. And yes, I wouldn’t hate to have a girlfriend sooner or later. But, I am not going to settle like I have before in the past. I am not going to woo the first girl I meet. I am not going to look at a pretty face and automatically fall into their lap.

I’m single, and I’m looking. But, that in no way means that I am going to settle for being half loved. And you shouldn’t either.

I’m not going to start dating someone right off the bat. I’m going to listen to my gut, and listen to my body. I’m not going to just jump headfirst without looking anymore.

Love deserves more than careless actions. And I do too.

I’m not going to date just to date. I’m going to date to find someone who makes me laugh the hardest. I’m going to date to find someone who comforts me when I feel lost. I’m going to date to find someone who makes me light up at just the thought of seeing him again.

I refuse to think of love as a waiting game. I refuse to think of love as something unattainable. Love is real, whether you believe it or not. And it will happen. It will happen to me and it will happen to you.

Love is not a one night stand. Love is not a drunken hook up. Love deserves so much more than that.

We just have to be adamant about it. We have to be adamant about not settling. We have to be adamant about finding someone who gets us. Who understands us. Who lifts us up, instead of tearing us down. Who genuinely wants to hear about how our day was. Who cries us with us when we experience loss. Who watches our favourite movie with us, just because they know it makes us happy. And who holds us when we feel anything but safe.

Us single guys get such a bad rep. People view us as being sad. As being lonely. As being ‘single forever’ cat guys. But guess what? Most of us are single because we are empowered. Most of us are single because we have spent years in unfulfilled relationships.

Most of us are single because we know what we deserve. We finally, finally know our worth

And guess what? Knowing my worth is better than settling. It may not look like it on the outside looking in, but it truly is. I know what I deserve. I don’t deserve 50% anymore. I deserve 100%. We all do.

Why I cant make it to work today

If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log (pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

My stigmata's acting up.

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

Yes, I seem to have contracted some sort of attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

I prefer to remain an enigma.

My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

5 Things I Don’t Want When I Say ‘I Do’

Planning a wedding was something I never dreamed about. I never spent days as a youngster pining over what my dress would look like or where my wedding would be or WHO, if anyone, I would actually be marrying. Marriage just isn’t on my list of things to do before I inevitably croak . Partially because I have never wanted kids (still don’t) and so I’m like, what’s the point and, also, I would just absolutely hate a huge, crazy wedding. And yet as I approach my mid-twenties and find friends getting engaged and married, I’ve found myself thinking about the big M.

And while a lot of folks have lists of things they NEED for a wedding, I present to you a list of things I absolutely don’t want if and when I say, ‘I do.’

1. I don’t want a diamond ring.

A princess-cut diamond ring doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m not a cookie cutter kind of a girl (though I do LOVE cookies) and a big, fat diamond isn’t going to make me happy. The fact that men are encouraged to spend thousands on a ring is absurd. Did y’all hear about the guy who proposed with his wisdom tooth set in a ring ?! That shit is my jam. I think that’s amazing. I’m not saying I want my future fiancé to yank a tooth just for me…but I think it’d be nice to have something more meaningful. A ring to look at and know that it couldn’t have been given to me by anyone else. Something symbolic and quirky. The size of the ring does not equal the size of the love.

2. I don’t want a public engagement.

Let me re-phrase. I do want people to know we’re engaged, I just don’t want to be proposed to in front of others. I think it’s utterly unromantic. Pop the question in bed, without a ring, just spur of the moment.

3. I don’t want your last name.

A marriage is an equal partnership. You fell in love with me, not my name (hopefully). So it shouldn’t be a huge deal that I want to keep it. I’m an only child and my dad doesn’t have brothers. I’m the last limb on my family tree and I refuse to drop my identity. I wouldn’t ask the man I marry to change his name. That’d be so weird! Plus, I hear the whole name-change process involves a lot of paperwork and I just don’t have time for that. Sorry! (But not really.)

4. I don’t want a registry.

Since when does getting married also involve your guests furnishing your home with an abundance of toasters and duvet covers? Registries seriously make me laugh. And then make me ‘grrrr’ with frustration. Oh, you want a set of coasters and some knives and a welcome mat and a $700 mirror that you can look in together and see how adorable of a couple you make? Eeek! Since when did marriage become so materialistic? I vow to never, ever have a registry. Luckily, more couples are choosing to request charitable donations over gifts which I think is absolutely awesome. Isn’t that a great way to start a life together? By choosing a cause you can both get behind and encouraging others to give back, it sets a super positive tone for not just the day, but for the rest of your married life. Yay!

5. I don’t want a conventional wedding or marriage ceremony.

Shocker, right? I’m weird, quirky and spontaneous and I want my wedding to reflect that. I think people often get too caught up with the wedding part that they forget the whole point of it is to celebrate a marriage . The flowers, the cake, the dress, the DJ vs band debate — all of it is madness! Remember to KISS ! Keep it simple, stupid! Nobody likes a bridezilla anyway. Get married in a romper, standing in a field of daisies, with a random hitchhiker you picked up to be the witness! Be unconventional! It’s more memorable, less stressful, and probably way more fun.

Also, the idea of having an actual marriage ceremony in front of a group of onlookers, who are probably just counting down the minutes until the open bar (let’s be real), makes me want to run away, elope and have a [small!!!] celebration weeks later. I hate the idea of rushing from having just been married to immediately celebrating with everyone. It’s too much! We need to give ourselves time to reflect and really take in these special moments.

Of course, every person should have the wedding they want. If that’s a big bash, go for it. But the media tends to cultivate and highlight the flashy, extravagant, crazy engagements and weddings that people have and it’s not fair for these to become the normal expectations.

Let’s celebrate the different ways we do things and not all aspire to become carbon copies of everyone else!

The 1000th Post On How To Find Your Passion In Life

I had to interrupt him. I was too curious. I thought I would die if I didn’t ask.

Whenever you are curious about something, don’t forget to ask a question.

Curious. Question….Curious ==> Question.

The only things you will ever remember are the questions you ask when you are curious. Curiosity is the ONLY technique for learning.

I was talking with a guy who was incredibly inspiring and he seemed to really know what his purpose in life was.

So I got curious. I asked him how anyone could find out what their passion is. The people who feel stuck in their lives.

He said: Imagine you have a billion dollars. Think of all the things you can do now.

Subtract out everything that is a luxury. For me, for instance, I’d hire someone to do all my shopping and maybe bathe me. I have to subtract that because that’s like a luxury.

I asked Claudia. She said she’d fly to Buenos Aires. I said, “You can do that right this second. That’s all you can think of if you got a billion dollars?” Maybe she just wants to get away from me until I shower.

But anyway, subtract the bigger house, the boat, the trips, the chefs, the assistants, the bigger car, the plane.

What would you DO? Not what you would HAVE.

Now… figure out how to that thing RIGHT NOW. Without the billion dollars.

Naveen Jain told me this technique. He’s going to the moon.

He started moonexpress.com. He’s already developed a lunar lander. NASA agrees it will work. He’s going to head over to the moon by 2020 and I believe him. One of the smartest people I’ve ever spoken to.

He wakes up at 4:30am and reads constantly about the things he’s interested in: space research, medical research, neuroscience.

He also said, “Let’s say you want to be a philanthropist.” This doesn’t mean give all your money away.

He said, “You still have to make it sustainable. So it’s okay if it’s a sustainable business.”

For instance, if he can get to the moon, he can mine for rare earth minerals which are quite valuable here. Then once it’s a sustainable business he can achieve his true objectives, which is to use the moon as a sort of launching pad for other planets.

I like this. He didn’t need money to do this dream. He’s rich but he raised the money, he hired the scientists, he mapped out the dream, he found the business model, and in 2020 he’s going to land on the moon.

I’m going to add to this.

Someone asked me yesterday what I thought about Warren Buffett’s “5/25” technique:

A) Write down the top 25 things you want to do with your life.

B) Focus on the first 5.

C) NEVER EVER FOCUS AGAIN on the next 20. AVOID THEM. They are only distractions if you truly want to be good at the first five.

I actually think it’s wrong to focus on the first five. Focus maybe on the first two or three. Of the 105 people who have been on my podcast, I can tell you the first two for every single one of them.

For example: Mark Cuban: Money and basketball.

Coolio: Rap and cooking.

Claudia: Yoga and writing.

I love to write things that will help people. I love to entertain.

I don’t need a billion dollars to do that but if I had a billion dollars I would do those things.

Well, what if you have no money?

I had no money. And it took years to figure out how to do the things I wanted to do. For all 105 of my podcast guests, it took them years .

But if I had a billion dollars, I’d do the things I’m doing right now.And I’d keep trying to get better at them.

I have other things on my list also. I wish I could paint. I wish I could play the piano better. I wish I could run a billion revenue business.

But you know what: I’m not going to focus on those things. They are not in my top three. Maybe they are somewhere around 15-20.

I’m going to give you one other technique for finding purpose. The Plan B technique. Otherwise known as the morning after pill.

It’s the morning after and you realize your absolute #1 dream didn’t work out.

But divide the dream into categories. Ok, I like to entertain. That might mean write, or it might mean speak, or it might mean, write fiction, or it might mean ten other things.

So do this and tell me what happens:

the “you have a billion dollars” technique

the “5/25” technique

the Plan B technique

Oh, one more technique: “the one thing technique”.

What ONE THING can you do today to move forward a tiny tiny bit on what you are left with when you do the above.

Maybe it just means find one thing you are curious about. Ask a question.

I wrote this post.

I’m going to shower.

How To Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back

Let’s dive right in.

It happens to all of us at some form or another – unrequited love. There are a plethora of different reasons why we enter into this excruciating circumstance. Whether this is what you think you deserve, or you’re not sure you’ll find anyone else, or maybe you believe that if you just wish, pray and try hard enough – if you can just hold out one more day, they’ll finally realize that you’re the best thing they never knew they needed.

Whatever the reason, we have to admit that no matter how hard we attempt to hide it, this “spot” is the most uncomfortable in the world – you never feel secure or sure of where exactly you stand with this person. And the fear in the back of your mind – the fear that is all to real – is that you’re standing alone.

1.Stop Comparing Yourself

It is an irresistibly strong temptation to compare yourself to the person your love actually wants. Sometimes, it’s not even a crush of theirs- all they have to say is that someone is pretty or fun and you automatically start scheming on how to make them view you as prettier or more fun. You obsess over the thought that if you were just more beautiful, more intelligent, more interesting – just “more” – that they’ll finally love you like you want (no, need ) them to.

The more you make these desperate attempts for their attention, the more insecure you feel because you realize that your best still isn’t good enough. Your “alpha” version doesn’t even turn their head. This may cause you to continually think about what’s so “wrong” about you and make you feel “defective” somehow. A lot of the time they don’t realize how much agony they’re constantly putting you through. This person is probably a very good person. Just remember that you are still good too.

2. Be Realistic

You suit up. Full Armor, shield, helmet – everything. You mentally prepare yourself for the most gruesome war you will probably ever fight. You rush to the battlefield but something is very, very wrong. You realize the battle has already been fought… and your side has lost.

From the beginning, unrequited love is a losing battle. If you’re going to remain in this, you need to accept that your heart will be broken daily. There’s nothing “beautiful” or “romantic” about fully investing yourself into someone that is not willing or able to do the same.

It’s not necessarily that this person is a bad person – clearly they must be wonderful or you wouldn’t be in this situation. Just know that you will constantly want more while having to accept that it’s not really an option. You’ll search for the smallest ounce of hope in the tiniest gestures, but you won’t find it.

As someone who’s been on both sides of this situation, i must admit that it tends to not end well. Sometimes the person does come around and you ride of into the sunset together and live happily ever after. However, until that happens, and for the rest of us in the other 99% of the population, it’s not so simple.

3. Distance Yourself

Not to see if the “distance makes the heart grow fonder” thing is going to work in your favor.

Take time away from this person to recenter yourself and remind yourself of your true worth. Make sure you set aside time to just be around friends and family who truly appreciate and make you feel wonderful about yourself again. Be sure to balance out all that pain with joy.

This will also help you avoid suffocating the person you desire. It’s easy to smother someone when you feel like it just takes a little more work and effort on your part for them to finally, finally want you back. But this will often make no sense to them and you may just come off as a clingy weirdo. This will be contradictory to everything you’re fighting so very hard for.

4. Move On

There. I said it. The one thing we never want to hear.

It’s absolutely necessary for your mental, physical, and especially emotional health. This is the thing we avoid with everything we have because we know it’s true. We’ve been stuck on this person for so long, it almost seems normal at this point. And we’ll come up with every excuse in the book to rationalize our way out of leaving. I mean, how could we? They’re just so very perfect and we love them so very much and we’re so very used to this hurtful,second-rate kind of relationship. Plus, there’s always this lurking feeling that tommorow will finally be the day!

But it’s time for you to make up your heart. Stop trying to convince yourself (and everyone around you) and ask the question – is this really what you want? This sick feeling in the pit of your heart? This constant back and forth, up and down?

It’s true that the longer it’s been, the harder it is. After a while you feel like it’s wrong to leave-like you deserve to get something out of this in return for all the time and effort you invested before you just leave – I mean, is this really it? I pour my whole self into this person and not only miss out on the love I wanted but I get a big bucket of heartbreak to top it all off ?

Sadly, that’s the reality. I won’t lie-of course it’s going to hurt but…aren’t you hurting now? One quote that’s incredibly helpful in this situation is “Almost is never enough.”

There’s Still Hope

Don’t give up on yourself. Just because this one didn’t work out doesn’t mean the next one won’t be ten times better. Start focusing on what’s right about you again. Realize that you areenough just the way you are,right now – not the “better”, more “perfect” version of you.

You should feel liberated! You don’t constantly have to try and “fix” yourself anymore. It’s time for you to go out there and live for you again. Remember that you deserve love. And you’re going to be so surprised when you realize what being truly cherished for who you are feels like. Go ahead, love. It’s time to let go and let yourself live.

5 health benefits of playing mobile games

Playing video games is well known to provide certain health benefits—from reducing depression, to relieving stress and even creating a general good feeling. While this might sound like an outrageous claim, there are lots of available evidence to support it. This has led many to incorporate video games into their regular lives. Allocating a bit of time to playing games can improve your mental health in a lot of amazing ways.

This topic is quite controversial, as there is evidence from researches and studies, to support and oppose the claims made. However, the research supporting the benefits of video games[1] would be difficult and really irresponsible to ignore. The following are some of the benefits of online video games:

1. They improve moods

There are few better ways to boost one’s mood than the feeling of victory[2] that comes with knowing you have finally figured out a difficult mobile video game level and completed the game successfully.

This usually comes with games that involve users trying to find their ways around demolishing the enemy’s Crown Towers, like in Clash Royale Gemmes, where users have an excellent visual approach and are equipped with great mechanics.

In addition, playing mobile games can help to keep anxiety at bay and promote relaxation. If just by playing video mobile games, people get happier, then why would anyone ever dispute the emotional benefits?

2. They train the brain

As it relates to boosting brain power,[3] online bingo and certain other games are successful in this. Spatial awareness is enhanced (thanks to different bingo games such as 75 ball bingo where users have to look at different horizontal, diagonal and vertical patterns in order to win the game). Additionally, playing these games regularly can help increase memory capacity. Tasks such as keeping track of different bingo cards as well as focusing on the numbers called out during a game can greatly aid mental stimulation.

3. Age does not really matter

Old or young, learning to play mobile video games[4] is quite easy. The gaming companies are continuously developing games, designed to target youngsters and unlock their potentials. Racing games especially are aimed at the young. Users can tilt their handheld devices to imitate the actions of a real steering wheel. These games equip younger users with the ability to improve on their driving skills.

Racing cars also allows the youngsters to work on their smaller muscle groups. This allows them to reach important and necessary milestones, which can help their cognitive development.

4. They enhance wellbeing

Playing mobile video games allow and enable users to engage in a sense of escapism, since these games require full engagement and deep concentration.

Games have specific ways of ticking all the boxes necessary for successful training of the brain. This is true especially for games users play against the clock. These games get users to focus, think faster and also think flexibly.[5]

By exercising all these skills, which most of the time are very challenging, you can improve your overall well-being. Companies like WonderTree[6] are even redefining special education with augmented reality games.

5. They build social communities

Certain games help users build a social community[7] such as Chess With Friends and Wordfeud. These games allow users to chat with strangers or friends as they play against them.

Another study discovered that people with autism are usually more engaged when they are celebrating victory as they share space with multiple players.[8] Lack of communication is usually a hard issue for those with autism, but increased social interaction from games that involve multiple players can help them.

With the above, you can defend yourself proudly when anyone asks you the benefits of mobile games.