It’s been years since we both separated ways. So many things have changed. I’ve met so many new people, went to so many new places and gone through so many happy and sad days. For sure you did too. But for now, I want you to reminisce for just a short moment the days not when were falling for each other, but on the few final chapters of the story we both shared.
Even now I’m not quite sure what really went wrong. I’ve got so many unanswered questions as to why you just left me like that. I thought you knew my intentions. I thought you appreciated my effort of leaving everything behind just to be with you and to support you even when it hurts. It’s sad to think you didn’t, but that’s just the only conclusion I had. I want you to know that all I ever thought of in those days was about doing everything I can to save us.
Most of the time, during the most awful days of my life, I often look back at that one decision I made and break down and blame myself for choosing incorrectly. That decision affected much of what has been happening to me until now. That decision of including you in my life. Everything will be different without you.
Why did all of the sudden I wanted to tell you this? The reason is because I wanted peace. It may be selfish, but I hope you can also benefit from this. I’ve been too hard to myself. I’ve regretted giving so much of me to you. If I’ll be given the opportunity to turn back the time, I would surely never given you a chance again. Forgiving myself was a lot harder than forgiving you. But I am also sincerely sorry for all the hurt I have caused you. I hope you had forgiven me too.
Don’t get me wrong. I had moved on. I just wanted to let it all out because I never really said it to anybody, and if I had said this to you a few years back, I know you’d only ignore this.
I’m genuinely happy for you. Even though you left me with very deep wounds that left scars, just like many others, I’m proud of them. For me, it’s a power not all have reached. It’s a symbol of overcoming something that could have killed you and yet you survived. It’s also a symbol of new beginnings; using those scars to remind you that you can already face anything life throws at you.
I’m glad that you let me go. We were just not meant to be. I’m happy that you are living what you dreamed of having and still reaching for more. I hope you find the one for you who can love you more than I did and may you cherish and protect it. I hope I’ll find mine too. I choose to see the bright side of the end of us. It’s for me and you to learn more. Whatever it is that we may get from it, I pray we realize it all for us to become better in loving others and especially loving ourselves. This is the first and last message I have for you. I pray for many joyful days ahead of you. I thank you.
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