Crocodile Wrestler and the Nasa Training

A multi-millionaire living in Darwin, Australia, decided to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours.

He also invited Brian, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns and oysters from the barbecue, and flirting.

Then at the height of the party, the millionaire said, "I have a 15 foot man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who'll join him in the pool."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash.

Everyone turned around and saw Brian in the pool fighting madly with the crocodile, jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butting it, getting it in choke holds, biting it's tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of martial arts expert.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Brian and the crocodile were screaming and raising hell.

Finally, after what seemed like an age, Brian strangled the crocodile and let it float to the top of the pool like a dead goldfish.

An exhausted Brian wearily climbed out of the pool with everybody staring at him in disbelief.

The millionaire said, "Well, Brian, I reckon I owe you a million dollars then."

"Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it," said Brian.

So the millionaire said "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks?"

"No thanks, I don't want it," Brian insisted.

The millionaire said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche, a Rolex and some stock options?"

Once again, Brian said, "No."

Confused, the rich man asked, "Well Brian, then what do you want?"

"I want the bastard who pushed me in," said Brian.

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated, "What are the guys in the big suits doing?"

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got really excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.

Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder.

After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate. He refused. So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.

Finally, NASA called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said: "Watch out for these guys; they've come to steal your land."