Saturday, 13 October 2018

This Is Why She Has To Ignore You When All She Wants To Do Is Answer


She thought you were gone. Like really gone this time.

She sat there mourning the loss of you even though you two weren’t a thing but when something feels like it is the pain is all the same.

How do you miss someone who isn’t even yours to keep? But you do.

You think back to the good memories and the good conversations and everything that made you smile about the person.

But the part you leave out is all the bad moments that brought you to your knees.

Then your name popped up on her phone. Usually, she sleeps through any noise but this time she woke up to see exactly how long you waited to answer just to say one word back. Why? Why now? Why answer so late when there’s nothing really to say?

So she falls back to sleep and your name pops up again days later. A different app and different conversation starter. Like you know exactly what to say to get her to respond to you.

And the truth is she wanted to answer. She wanted to talk to you. She wanted to know how you were doing. She wanted to tell you everything going on in her life since you ‘left’ …again.

Your coming and going should be something she’s used to but she’s never been one to handle goodbyes with grace.

But you didn’t leave you just lingered choosing to come and go as you wanted to.

She didn’t answer and it wasn’t because she didn’t want to hear from you or she stopped caring.

She can probably tell you how many days she sat waiting for you to answer. Waiting for your attention. But after one or two or three messages ignored she heard you loud and clear.

Her lack of response isn’t a sign of disrespect. It isn’t giving you a taste of your own medicine. It isn’t making some move in this game of the rules you created and recreated so many times just when she thought she had you figured out.

She didn’t answer because it hurts too much to. To cave and have you ignore her again because that’s always how it goes.

She texts you, you ignore her. You text her, she responds then you decide when you want to give her your attention.

Like some game, she didn’t even ask to participate in.

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