Sunday, 30 September 2018

When She Asks Him Why He Loves Her


She asks him why he loves her because she doesn’t understand. Why would a guy like him love a girl like her, and how? What did she do to be so lucky? What did she do to deserve his love?

“Why do you love me?” she asks. And he looks at her, not like she’s crazy, but like he’s wondering how she could be so beautifully unaware, unaware of the fact that he simply loves her the way she deserves to be loved. That his love is effortless because of the person that she is.

He loves her because she’s there for him. Because when he feels like his life is slowly falling apart, somehow she’s picking up the pieces before it even happens. Because when he comes home from work and has had the worst day ever, she listens, and she doesn’t make him feel bad for harbouring negativity, or for venting it on her, she knows that he just needs someone to hear him. He loves her because she listens.

He loves her because she doesn’t try to change him. She doesn’t lay a list of things down that she wish he would do, or say, a list of qualities she wishes he would embody. She doesn’t wish he were anything other than who he already is, and he loves her because she seems to enjoy and support the person he continues to become.

He loves her because she doesn’t apologize for being herself. She doesn’t apologize for crying through an argument that doesn’t make sense. She doesn’t apologize for reacting, whether it’s excitement or anger or joy. She doesn’t apologize for her feelings. He loves her because she doesn’t say sorry for being the person that she is, having the feelings that she feels, or acting on the reactions those feelings cause.

He loves her because when she does apologize, it’s for messing up. And he loves her because she doesn’t expect the apology alone to fix it. She doesn’t expect the apology to erase her bad decisions, to wipe the slate clean of her mistakes. He loves her because her apologies mean she’s willing to move forward and not make those same mistakes again.

He loves her because she accepts the things about him that most people consider flaws. She sees his imperfections and she understands that’s what makes him human. She sees his imperfections and understands that she’s got them too. He loves her because she doesn’t expect their love to be perfect. She doesn’t expect him to be perfect either.

He loves her because she doesn’t make him feel like a disappointment. He loves her because she is proud of him and everything that he’s done, because she doesn’t pressure him with expectations that he needs to live up to, or benchmarks he needs to reach. He loves her because she accepts him even when he fails. He loves her because she doesn’t leave when it happens. He loves her because she encourages him to keep going , to try again, and to not feel discouraged while doing so. He loves her because she motivates him to be strong.

So when she asks him why he loves her, he’ll ask her how she doesn’t know. “How could I not love you? How could you not understand why?” And in her head she knows it’s because a small part of her can’t believe it and a larger part of her maybe doesn’t want to, because if she believes him when he says, “I love you,” if she believes all of the reasons he gives, that must mean that love is something she deserves. That must mean that this love is real, because she’s finally found a person who can give it to her.

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